Tired of lawnmowers, loud music, mysterious bangs and basically damn noisy neighbours, she ordered a Demolition Fairy from The Fairyland Catalogue of Wishes.  The fairy arrived seconds after she’d typed in her credit card details and pressed the large confirm button on the website.

He was large for a fairy, hairy and gnarled like an old tree.

“Whaddya want demolished Missus?” he said with an accent straight from the western suburbs of anywhere. So she explained in detail how she never got any peace and quiet anymore, how the neighbour’s drove her crazy. How much she wished they’d go away.

“Done!” he said, then Poof!!!! He was gone.

The world was quiet. No music. No bangs. No lawnmowers or cars. No birdsong. No wind. Nothing.

For a while she revelled in the quiet. Whistled a tune as she washed the dishes. Somehow this felt too loud so she stopped.  She didn’t dare look over the fence or even across the road to see what the fairy had done. It had her a little bit worried.

That night she couldn’t sleep. Normally she complained about barking dogs and frogs, screeching cars and possums, yowling cats. She found she could not sleep in total quiet. Lay awake all night staring out into the dark. Finally the sun rose. She decided to be brave and contact the neighbours.

She walked outside only to find there was no outside. She turned to go back in, but inside had disappeared as well. She screamed for the Demolition Fairy but he was not anywhere. Eventually in total fear, she retreated inside herself, nowhere else to go. Her mind demolished, her world demolished, all was demolished.

Meanwhile the neighbours continued making noise, banging gates and fences, playing music loud, screaming, laughing, and generally not noticing that their quiet neighbour had disappeared.

Copyright April 2013


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