Waiting Room Blues

Try to sit

Anxiously wait

It’s not even my doctor

How to say

Those intimate thoughts

Of my disordered mind

To a stranger

A man who knows me not

I say to myself

I will not cry

When all the while

They well up and wait

For permission to fall

A cyclonic force

Of broken emotions desperately

Trying to stay within

Safe from mockery

Disdain

Complete indifference

I’ve seen too many doctors in my time

So many blank of face

Yet another crazy female

This emptiness says

When will I see the real sick

A cancer patient or two

Someone with a real illness

Not a disordered mind

Which could be fixed

With a little tenacity

But that’s the point

I think as I sit

Too much tenacity

Striving to pass as normal

A daily fight

Until something gives

And my grip on the world dies

And I fail again at life

So I need sedating

Some small devastating pills

To take the edge off

To zombify my mind

To fit in

 

 

Copyright July 2013

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