I have this recurring memory of watching an old British TV show, Butterflies are Free. I don’t know why I liked it for it was about a disgruntled middle-aged woman and all her inner thoughts. Maybe, as a child, I was projecting my future. Anyway the memory I have is of one particular episode where she fantasises about running through fields of grasses and wildflowers, knickerless and free. I must’ve been very young at the time as I remember sniggering at her rudey-nudey thoughts.
Lately I have come to understand her.
That state of middle-aged disgruntlement, that boxed in feeling, that narrowing of life. That voice in your head screaming “Is this all there is???????’’ Or, even worse, that anger at seeing yet another over privileged white male politician hectoring everyone on how to be! No!! Get your expectations away from me!! Let me be!
I have decided that things will change. Tomorrow, if you happen to be in the vicinity of Buderim Meadows Park quite early in the morning and you see a disgruntled middle-aged woman in a long dress, running through scratchy grass, mud and dog poo, you’ll know that she is me, knickerless and free, beautiful as a butterfly.
Copyright June 2014
Disclaimers on age, title of TV show and my memory.