One Hump the Third

july themes

1: The Dromedary Bequest


Great Uncle Charles Edward John {One hump} Dromedary the Third died one day after his blow out 99th birthday feast.  After his funeral the family gathered for the reading of the Will, only to discover he’d left everything, bar a table, to the local Brothel owner. The table was to go to me, his favourite great niece.

Whilst the family ranted and raved, I picked up my eight legged table and went home, feeling just as badly done to as the others, but not wanting to show it.

The table itself was hideous and badly needed a polish. I had never known why Uncle Charles had kept it by his bedside, but as he’d left it to me to do what I wanted with, I decided to clean and then sell it. It looked old enough to be an antique.

All afternoon I rubbed and polished. The smell of beeswax permeated my home. I felt myself relaxing the more I polished and soon I was rewarded by carven images appearing on the table’s surface. Caught in relief I saw my Uncle being devoured by a giant spider. As I looked more closely I saw it was my Aunty, who had died when I was eleven, her face smiling as she ate my Uncle from the feet up.

The table scuttled on its eight legs over to the side of my bed, where it settled as if it had always been there. As Uncle Charles choked in pain and Aunt Arachne waved at me with her eight furry legs, I smiled back in acknowledgement of our shared genes and name. I switched off the light, climbed under the covers and dreamt of gossamer cobwebs and blood.


Copyright July 2014


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