Chthonic Cycles

 

a calm has settled upon me

the tumultuous thoughts of this morning

have settled somewhere safely in a corner

a part of my mind where hurts go to heal

 

sometimes there is such loneliness in depression

a need for love so strong it manifests as pain

a huge lump in my centre cutting off air

and a blank in my brain where hope once was

 

this morning I walked with heavy steps in the sun

Churchill’s black dog strained at a tight leash

choking me with tales of nothingness and no need

outsider, no-hoper, social-misfit, crone

 

it is true, if you wait, another mood comes

hours, days, months later it ventures in

highlighting a flower, a photo, a word

and a small slither of hope enters the world

 

 

Copyright June 2017

 

 

Mo{u}rning

 

it happened by accident

I woke up again this morning

a biologic imperative, they say

one day, of course, it won’t happen

by accident, or otherwise

and I will never know

 

clouds and doonas and other fluffy things

analogies to blanket out despair

{or perhaps find a place for despair to rest}

bigger reality hits me over the head

my reality takes quite a time to kick in

on these grey, disturbing, nothing days

 

how can I hope to explain

that Oh Shit! feeling, I’m still here

to people who feel their purpose in their bones

I have so much to do but most of it seems

even the voices in my head are still asleep

when they wake I’ll beg them to re-wire my brain

 

 

Copyright May 2017

Tell Me A Story

 

all her stories end with death

and a loneliness full of desperation

so quiet that the chest pains

can be heard as they crush the life

out of all the joys enclosed in bones

 

sometimes the story teller lulls me to sleep

on bitter sweet tales of sex and love

and all the indistinct possibilities

that abound in words and rhythms

before they turn and become sour to the taste

 

for a while there her tales were muffled by a fog

a brief reprieve where life was lived without sound

and taste and touch and imagination

where words were only words and not pictures

and the shades of life were never heard

 

way beyond the tales I sense a life unlived

brief glimpses creep between The End

and the raw beginnings of Once Upon A Time

but still her stories end in death

I follow them in quiet desperation

 

 

Copyright April 2017

Friday Stuff

 

the sky is of a blue

designed to destroy

the tumultuous greys

of yesterday

and yet

something evil

has entered the universe

so that the blue

seems grey to me

deep inside myself

I see the cyclonic depression

has settled in

the aftermath of yesterday

stored within

 

**************************

 

 

each day I wait

I wait for the end

of the day to come

so that my mind can

make up stories without

reality getting in the

way of my inner magnificence

 

 

 

Copyright March 2017