Human Nature


if all the young people died overnight

would the eighty year olds send the fifty year olds

off to war?


she sat on the couch, watched the news

sipped her tea and decided YES


it was inevitable

like the death of our species

fifty years later


musing on the fall of empires


she baked a cake


in celebration


of nature


and other nasty things




Copyright May 2017


Carolina Finds a New Home

The Proprietor of the Pet Shop in Upper Weeping, watched as Little Veronica Waldorf pushed her nose up to the glass, hands pressed on either side of her face, eyes large and imploring as she viewed the display of hanging bats, multi-coloured baby dragons, and a couple of brand new Smug Sphinxes. The Proprietor knew that as much as Veronica loved all creatures, her heart was set on a miniature crocodile. The Proprietor also knew that her mother had said NO! OVER MY DEAD BODY! and I’LL KILL ANYONE WHO GIVES MY DAUGHTER A CROCODILE!

Mrs. Waldorf, the owner of Saturnalia Salads, was a formidable Human of the Gargantuan variety. Little Veronica was only little in comparison.  The Pet Shop Proprietor never, ever went against anything Walnut Waldorf said, so he tried, daily, to ignore that yearning look on little Veronica’s face.

Little Veronica was friends with Velella, a Wolfpack Demon and Marcus, a Diminutive Dwarf, the two apprentices from Maude Philpott’s knitting and wool shop, Click Clacks. The three of them had formed a little gang of minor mischief, their turf being the main street of Upper Weeping and all of St Willaston’s Park.

St. Willaston’s Park was the place they’d decided on as the safest to keep the miniature crocodile when they’d stolen it from the pet shop. Having spent the past three weeks enclosing off a small dam and checking out books from The Library of No Mirth on Crocodile Keeping, What To Feed You Crocodile and All You ever Wanted to Know about Manure, they were ready. The heist would be that night.

Carolina the Crocodile was quite happy to follow the little gang out of The Pet Shop, along the main street {quietly}, and out into St. Willaston’s Park. She very happily allowed herself to be placed inside the enclosure with her very own swimming pool and resting facilities. When she was given a chicken to eat she fell in love with this large human who offered it to her. She promised herself she would never bite that hand, as long as it continued to feed her.

For the next few days The Pet Shop Proprietor avoided Mrs. Waldorf until he finally realised she knew nothing of the crocodile’s release. He also turned a blind eye to Little Veronica’s newfound interest in vermin control and the trio’s daily visits to St. Willaston’s Park. On the whole he felt Carolina was probably happier outside and what Mrs. Waldorf didn’t know, couldn’t hurt him.


Copyright September 2014