Questions of Senicide 

 

 

Senicide seemed a bit drastic at the time, but when I saw the happy faces of children with full bellies, I was all for it. Old men sucking up food like oxygen. Never enough left for the children. Things needed to change.

After the special poisoned dinner, the bodies were hidden at the very back of the sacred cave. It took us old women many hours to bury them there but we knew there was less chance of them being found. Sacred monster area and no foot traffic.

Life is good now. We told the tribe the old men have gone on a sacred journey, to walk in the steps of the ancestors. They left us after the good luck dinner.  No one has questioned us. They all accept and are grateful for more food and no old men to feed.

I am happy. No more moaning husband. No more watching my husband’s jowls wobble as he moves within me. Back and forth, back and forth, wobble, wobble, wobbling. I sleep when I want.

This morning our peace was broken. A loud buzzing sound like a thousand bees erupted from the sky. We rushed out of our homes as a large creature landed nearby. The creature opened and smaller creatures walked out, each carrying a long thin tube.

They spoke our language. We have come to examine you they said, smiling in what we thought was an evil manner.  We backed away as they talked about rectal examinations and life back on Mars. They advanced on us as we backed further away, chanting rhythmically…

Do not be afraid of the sigmoidoscope.

 

 

Copyright October 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Good, the Bad and the Library

 

It has been a quiet morning in our local library. Eager for my lunch I watch the hands of the clock move slowly around to twelve. Only three minutes before I can dive into that large piece of coffee cake. Salivating at the prospect, with one eye still on the clock, I wait for Sally to return and relieve me. She is always late. I sigh. I hate my job sometimes. Excitement, I crave excitement.

At last, the door opens, but it is not Sally. It’s a Mechanical Cowboy, a CowBot. Human size. Hat, chaps and boots. Wonder where his horse is, I think. As he nears the counter, I see that one arm is broken and I hear the faint aftermath of music with every stuttering step he takes.

Excuse me ma’am do you have a book on Robot Repairs??

I’ll… um… just look…. I say, not nearly as cool as I’d like to be.

What is wrong with me, I berate myself as I type in the request. Only a moment ago I had been yearning for excitement! Now, with a CowBot needing my help, I’m wavering.

I type mechanical repairs + robot into the search engine. One entry pops up. In the stacks. At the very bottom. In books waiting for repair.

Downstairs, I say to the CowBot. I’ll have to go down into the basement and see what condition it’s in. It’s down there for repair.

As I speak, he turns to the front door as if listening for something. I look over but can’t see a thing besides the door.

Can you hear it?? He says cocking his head to one side like an adorable German Shepherd pup.

No, I say, but that’s not quite the truth. As the words leave my lips, I can hear a faint sound of shooting. Pop. Pop. In the distance.

Is that…. Gunfire?? I say.

Yes, the CowBot answers, they are getting closer.

He gestures with his good arm. We’d better go find this book. I need my arm repaired, pronto.

He follows me down the stairs. With each step I hear the faint sound of a famous tune, but can’t quite place it.

The book sits in the middle of the repair table.  The air hums with the same tune as the CowBot emits. I find myself humming along as he thumbs through the repair book.

Aha!!!! He rips out the page. Asks if we have a back door.

I show him the fire exit.

As he leaves, he says, I’m in your debt ma’am and doffs his hat.

Behind us, I hear the library door blown off its frame.

Take me with you!

He doesn’t say no. He doesn’t say yes either. He merely looks me in the eye.

Please. I say.

He turns and walks off.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

I hear the tune.

Follow me, he says.

And I do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright october 2019