Sparta

 

like the spartan boy who does not cry

even when the fox eats him alive

I nurse my pain, hide it inside

it feels so useless to explain

or even cry

 

as the fox gnaws at my vitals

I step outside my haven, put on a face

fake my way through yet another day

no one needs to see me cry

or try to explain

 

 

Copyright May 2017

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The Pain In My Head Is As Big As The World

 

the pain in my head is as big as the world

it travels down my spine

settles in my coccyx

I sit on my pain

 

I sit on my pain

as it veers out through my hips

my thighs feel heavy and drab

and my knees ache for the past

 

my knees ache for the past

force this ache down to my toes

my hands reach down to my toes

I gather all pain in my hands

 

I gather all pain in my hands

I hold my head in my hands

my fingers ache from the sense of it all

the pain in my head is as big as the world

 

 

Copyright May 2017

 

 

I, Panic

 

that lump in my chest

sits brooding under my skin

a sulky little monster

tightening its grip with every scream

 

I struggle to take a breath

 

take a knife, slice through the skin

interrupt the machinations

split bones, gouge holes

stab it in the eye until release

 

count to three and breathe in

 

hold still until seven

listen as the bones knit together

feel the skin as it is sewn

roughly as the monster falls asleep

 

wash the blood off the knife and count to ten

 

 

Copyright May 2017

 

Fighting Fear

 

something inside me relaxes

enough to let the bats unfold

preternatural claws against my chest

ripping flesh and bone to shreds

 

I hang on to my dignity long enough

to seek the comfort of solitude

the moon reflects benevolence upon my bed

the bats refold their wings and sigh

 

they will only fly in dreams tonight

gripping tight to my unwieldy thoughts

feeding forcibly on fractured memories

tearing fears into small undigested morsels

 

 

Copyright March 2017