Imperial Thoughts

back and forth the argument goes

she could follow the thread if she wanted to

but her mind drifts on other thoughts

of sunny endless times

and 26 inch waists

{she wonders when she stopped mentally translating imperial into metric}

she thinks of diets and books

and who in their right mind would pay $32,000 for a dress

{skewed priorities}

when it could buy a whole library of adventures

she thinks on landlords and a quick buck

of people trapped in life

and burning infernos

she tunes back in for a moment

only to realise the argument

has tied itself in knots

it could take years to unravel

{keep them occupied for the rest of the term}

she sidles back within

has a cup of tea and a chat

with the various demons who have taken up residence

in her mind over the years

“give a man an inch and he’ll take a mile” she thinks to herself

{mentally translating the measurements into centimetres}

before picking up a book

and escaping for a while

into fantasies

 

 

Copyright June 2017

 

Asperger’s????????

Anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis {and a big thanks to those who do!!} will have noticed I have been anything but regular with my posts this year. Living with depression has its ups and downs and this year there have been many downs. Frustration sets in and devours my creativity which in turn creates more frustration. I even cancelled my Twitter account and disappeared for a few weeks, only to begin a new account because I missed chatting to so many people.

Note: If you wish to talk with me or to read my tiny poems, tiny stories and tiny haiku my new account is @iwasaplatypus

To add to this year’s story a few weeks back whilst reading the ABC news I came across an article on middle-aged women being diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. It seems that girls with Asperger’s have been better than boys with Asperger’s at pretending to be human and have therefore slipped under the diagnosis radar. As these women talked about themselves an alarm bell rang in the back of my mind – they sounded exactly like me.

After a couple of days of brooding I visited an Asperger’s site and found a description of the commonalities of women with Asperger’s. It was like the author knew me! Things, attributes, of mine which I had never talked about, barely admitted, were linked together.

To cut a long story short, I visited my Doctor {who I admit I was hesitant to approach} and he believes I am correct in my self-diagnosis. Later this week I will see a Psychiatrist for an expert opinion and hopefully, some advice.

I am amazed.

I am scared.

I am excited.

I am frightened.

I am writing this because my world has shifted on it’s axis. I am what I am and at the same time I am not what I thought I was.

Still me.

 

Copyright June 2015

Vanity

framed I hang upon the wall

a little portrait of myselfmy archie selfie

reflecting malice back at me

 

am I refracted or distorted

chipped, stained or cracked

an aged prism alight from the outside

 

all those rainbows hidden behind my eyes

wise thoughts crazy beyond their years

staring off into infinity

 

framed I hang upon this wall

pleased in the glow of vanity

she drew my hair so beautifully

 

 

Copyright October 2014

 

Portrait of me by Cassandra King